The Barr Code

Just In Case You Were Wondering

2010-12-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

Well, HELLO....it's been far too long...(has it, really?).

As you may or may not have noticed, The Barr Code has been on something of a hiatus of late.

We're not saying this is forever, it's just until we manage to figure out how to be gainfully employed while simultaneously turning out fabulosly engaging blog copy...once we figure that out The Barr Code will be back and better than ever!

XOXO,

Babble Boy

The Underwear with Something Extra

2010-10-10T05:47:00.000-07:00

British Department Store Chain Marks & Spencer is releasing a collection Bodymax "frontal enhancement" underwear for men that claim to make a bloke's package "look 38 percent bigger." These are obviously a BAD idea....cock-padding is false advertising in the WORST sort of way. I mean, what's a girl to do when she gets home, undersses her latest find only to discover that the Toblerone she thought she was going to have for desert is actually a Hershey's Kiss? Imagine the disappointment!

The Music Video With Something Extra

2010-10-10T05:12:00.000-07:00

A little Sunday morning inspiration for you all to put you in exactly the right mood for brunch....What's the Tea?????

Video Via Bossip

The Savior With Something Extra

2010-10-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

How's Sarah Palin gonna feel about those crazy Brazilians turning Jesus PINK?! Everyone knows pink is the international colour of homosensuality so OBVIOUSLY those Brazilians are trying to send the WORLD a message that a lifelong bachelor who's BFF was a loose woman that enjoyed turning water into a nice Bordeaux while wearing a fabulously draped loincloth might have been rather light in the sandals....

(Actually, Jesus is pink in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness....image via AP/Gawker)

The Actor With Something Extra

2010-10-06T06:40:00.001-07:00

I KNOW, I KNOW....a month without posting! Maybe it's time to fire myself?

The thing is, The Barr Code hates posting unless we're genuinely enthused....and this image, mes choux, makes us 110% enthused.....

Blouses for Boys & Girls With Something Extra

2010-09-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

Just in time for Fashion Week: Acne's new capsule collection of BLOUSES designed specifically for TRANSVESTITES!

EVEN BETTER, the three TOPS are named after Candy Magazine (discussed a few posts ago) Editor Luis Venegas's favourite show Dynasty, with each design carrying the name of one of its characters; Alexis, Sammy Jo and Krystle. (I always suspected Sammy Jo & Alexis were tops....but Krystle?)

Personally, we're all about the sky blue number on the left. Nothing says working girl realness like a GIANT PUSSYcat bow.

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Image & Original Reporting Via Vogue UK

Weekend Inspiration

2010-08-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

Before you hit your 150 person orgy this weekend.....a little something to inspire a swinging fashion look.

PS: Shout out to DJ CIRCEE for the pic!

Let's Discuss: Orgy Etiquette

2010-08-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

According to UK Tabloid The Sun, 43 year old Helen Shields (you MUST click the link to experience her devastating beauty) was trying to enjoy a CASUAL evening at home with 150 of her nearest and dearest when TRAGEDY struck.

What happened, you ask?

WELL, poor old Helen, member of a subtly titled group known as The Black Man's Fan Club...."Parties specifically organised for ladies who appreciate the extras that Black guys bring, and for Black guys who enjoy being appreciated!!" was attacked by a jealous ex named Kenneth with a can of lighter fluid and a Zippo lighter while she was trying to get her groove on. RUDE!

APPARENTLY, she & Kenny were partners in business & love for more than four years but broke up last November...Despite their separation, they continued organizing orgies together.

Kenny decided to take things somewhere dark (no pun intended) when he came (no pun intended) to the party with a new galpal....

Helen arrived accompanied by five men helping with "catering and security." (Going forward, if anyone asks you who your fuckbuddy is, you can say "catering & security".) RUDE ASS Kenny was already at the orgy with a new girlfriend. Naturally, Helen asked him and the TRAMP to bounce, but Kenny refused, grabbed a can of lighter fluid, doused darling Helen's face and hair (she's usually fine with having things sprayed on her face or hair, but this time was different) & tossed her on a coffee table before several men had to drag him off her.....

Where are people's manners these days? If a LADY asks you to leave her ORGY, a gentleman should know it's impolite to set her on fire!!! ANYWHO....when cross-examined by the defense lawyer if anything "changed hands" at the orgies she replied: "some condoms."

Well said, Helen!

Pussy in a Cage!

2010-08-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

BREAKING NEWS! The masked cat villainess we last discussed in June who terrorized discount shoe stores and The Body Shop has been APPREHENDED! Meeeeeee-oooow!

According to the NY Post, our broke down Selina Kyle is none other than Shanna Spalding a.k.a. Purgatory, 28, of Queens! She's a death-metal chanteuse in a band called Divine Infamy under her stage name, Purgatory.

Apparently, the Divine Miss Shanna slipped on a burqa to cat burgle a Greene Street shop in SoHo with a gun and demanding cash.

WHAT WAS SHANNA THINKING? With all this mosque controversy in the news & crazy men stabbing Muslim taxi drivers, running around SoHo in a BURQA is NOT a clever way to go unnoticed.....SHANNA, I'M DISAPPOINTED!

Let's start the countdown to Divine Infamy's record deal/reality show....you just know this whole thing was a giant P.R. stunt.

Out of the woods and into some Green!

2010-08-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah....WE KNOW...The Barr Code has spent August being more or less M.I.A.....don't blame us, we're part French! Août, c'est les vacances! In any case, here's our latest (and quite possibly greatest) edition of Barr Service, where we sink a fashion birdie with the classiest divorcee this side of Stockholm....

The Softer Side of Memphis Blac

2010-08-11T05:12:00.000-07:00

Creator of Summer 2010's anthem, the certified classic "Got Dat Work" is back serving us a little something to slow dance to, "Hoe Money"....listen to it while you're pimping somebody you love!

Material Girl Hits Macy's

2010-08-03T17:29:00.000-07:00

AND WE'RE BACK!!!!!! Did you miss me? Things over here at The Barr Code's HQ have been a little dramatic....busted lips, slipped discs and a laptop suicide (my computer fell and the screen broke). ALAS....to quote Donna and Barbra "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" with my sob stories!

Let's focus on things that are genuinely dreadful....like the Madonna/Lola collaboration known as MATERIAL GIRL that arrived at celebrated haute couture emporium Macy's today. Our intrepid correspondent CIRCEE invited us to the debut today, but we had a big date with a small bottle of back pain pills that we couldn't miss....from the looks of these photos CIRCEE emailed over it looks like NONE of Lola's friends bothered to show up to her launch. What's with all the drag queens and old ladies, Macy's? Where's Taylor Momsen? Looks like nothing but a bunch of middle aged ladies on their way to a H.R.T. seminar actually showed up....and the clothes....oy....what to say? Excuse me while I flip through Sex and remember the good old days.

The Magazine With Something Extra

2010-07-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

TG (Transgender) Week here on The Barr Code keeps on strutting (and mopping)....today we present a video sent in by Our Always Transitional Never Traditional Special Correspondent Celestia Von Wella featuring what looks like one of the most festive (and totally TG) periodicals of all time....Candy Magazine. Why hasn't anyone sent us a copy?!!

Barr Service: Keeping it On the D.L.

2010-07-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hear Ye, hear ye! Court is in session...style court that is.

This week, the ever intrepid Barr Service hears a fashion plea from 2009's Long Island Mother of the Year who's seeking a look that will take her from her daughter's handcuffing to Les Deux and back again.....

The Supermodel With Something Extra

2010-07-20T07:18:00.000-07:00

Is this week totally TG (Transgender) here on The Barr Code? Yesterday we met Pakistan's Terrifically TG Tax Collecting Squad and today one of our favorites has returned, the lovely Miss Lea T. the veterinary student/Givenchy muse/Supermodel!

We last spoke about Lea a few months ago when it was revealed that she was starring in the Givenchy ad campaign, well SHE'S BACK and better than ever in a gorgeous portrait and beautifully written profile by Carole SABAS in Vogue Paris.

We're far too lazy to fully translate the profile for you....so here's everything you need to know about Lea.

1. She's from Belo Horizonte, educated between Italy and Brazil.

2. Riccardo played a big part in her transformation, encouraging her to wear high-heels to a party and convincing her to bleach her eyebrows. She describes that moment as "a revelation."

3. She worked for Riccardo in Paris as his house model/designated B.F.F. two seasons before going back to Milan to begin her transition.

4. She's just waiting for "the paperwork to be in order" to "definitively liberate her femininity" (the classiest metaphor for a sex change I've ever read).

5. After the surgery, she's leaving the future open, perhaps on the runways, maybe in the design studio, maybe Brazil.

Obvi, major PROPS to Madame Roitfeld for having the proverbial couilles to publish what I'm sure many people will consider a provocative image. And double major PROPS to Miss Lea for being unashamed to show the world who she is right now and who she dreams of becoming.

Image via

The Debt Collector With Something Extra

2010-07-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

Who knew paying back taxes could be so much fun?ACCORDING to a hot hot hot video from The New York Times, Pakistan a country where basically no one who should be paying taxes does, has discovered a faaaaaaaabulous way to make tax dodgers whip out that checkbook....TRANNY TAX COLLECTORS! IRS? How about I.R.Yesssssssssssssss!

Read on:

"In a bid for a solution — and some publicity — the Clifton board borrowed a creative idea that alleviated tax woes in neighboring India: It hired a team of transgender tax collectors to go door-to-door to embarrass the rich until they pay.

"Transgender people, known as TGs in Pakistan, carry a social stigma in the country, and their presence rattles the rich. For many of the TGs hired by the Clifton board, tax collecting is their first salaried job, and two of them still work as sex workers."

This just further proves the point that the USA is really falling behind the rest of the world when it comes to hotness....Iceland has a married lesbian running the place, Argentina just gave los homos the right to adopt children/get married and now PAKISTAN, of all places, has the most glamorous I.R.S. on the planet.

America, we should be ashamed.

Original Story Via NY Times

Nikki's Mirage

2010-07-15T05:34:00.000-07:00

One of The Barr Code's dedicated readers, DJ Circee, was hanging out at Pathmark yesterday and sent us this disturbing little picture....TBW Presents: A Tribute to Nikki Minaj.

For only $5.99 all you Nikki fans out there get 90 pages of fierce Lil Kim looks including six, yes six fold-out posters!

Isn't it crazy how fast people become stars nowadays? I mean, this chick doesn't even have an album out yet and she deserves a 90 page TRIBUTE?! What's wrong with this country? What's wrong with the kids? Give this girl some time before you make her legendary! I swear....this feels like the beginning of the whole Lady Burger Money phenomenon all over again. The industry finds some chick who copies all of a true icon's style/music/swagger and then promotes them like they're the second coming. Meanwhile, poor K.I.M. is hustling her ass of doing two shows a night at half empty venues and pimping her ass out at Millions of Milkshakes ON HER BIRTHDAY!

O Serviço de Barr

2010-07-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

In what is undoubtedly the sexiest installment of Barr Service so far, a Brazillian football superstar fristrated by his team's poor performance at the World Cup seeks advice on the right fashion look to leak a sex tape in.....

Apodaca's Exhibitionism

2010-07-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

One of The Barr Code's favorite people, Ms Rose Apodaca is curating a musuem exhibition at the Pasadena Museum of California Art. When she first mentioned that she was doing something in an exhibiton, naturally I thought she was doing a performance art piece à la Abramović where she was going to sit in a museum working a new hot look everyday for the next few months....

As it turns out, Rose won't be exhibiting herself, instead she's doing a show called "Action/Reaction," which, according to the story in today's LA Times, "highlights 11 California design talents influenced by varying forces including DIY culture and rock 'n' roll."Rose has thrown in all types of designers, ranging from knitwear genius Koi Suwannagate to glam costumer Michael Schmidt to the innovative selection of Strange Invisible Perfumes, the Venice-based fragrance house founded in 2000 by Alexandra Balahoutis.

If you're in Cali at any point between now and Oct. 31, head on over to the Pasadena Musuem of California Art and check out the show!

But What About the Lesbians?

2010-07-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

That Iranian government really is a no-fun zone! First, they took a bunch of Americans hostage in the 70's, then they had that dreadful war with Saddam Hussein in the 80's and then that Ahmadinejad denied the Holocaust, started building nuclear bombs and stole an election.

Well, if you can imagine, they found a way to make things even worse....they banned the mullet! No business in the front, no party in the back!

APPARENTLY, the totally not gay hairdressers at the Ministry of Culture considers the mullet along with ponytails and heavily gelled spikes to be "decadent Western cuts" and therefore BANNED for Iranian men.....but all I want to know is: DOES THIS RULE APPLY TO LESBIANS (yes I know Iranian lesbians wear chadors )? If not, it's time for us to start a letter writing campaign to Secretary Clinton to get refugee status for all the Iranian lesbians so they can come to America and have HAIR FREEDOM. Denying a butch lesbian the right to her mullet is cruel and unusual punishment!

image via AngryGreekDyke

Todd Gets Served

2010-07-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

Can you think of a better way to celebrate our nation's independence than giving a certain former First Dude a high-fashion makeover?

Click on over to Hint and check out Barr Service.....

Just in case You're in Queens Later

2010-07-01T12:03:00.001-07:00

APPARENTLY, the Zac Posen for Target collection wasn't exactly a hit with customers....Racked NY has this photo from the Queens Target featuring a polyester tulle blood clot of Posen's convertible party dresses marked down from $79.99 to $19.98. Imagine how embarrassing it must be for a designer to still not be able to sell a dress even when it's less than $20!

Poor Zac, nobody wants his expensive shit, nobody wants his cheap shit, nobody (with decent taste) wants to live in one of his scary purple home decor moments....maybe he can get a gig designing the Liza for HSN collection? She probably sold more in 2 hours last night than he has in the past two years.

I'll Have What She's Having

2010-07-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

Lay back, pop a few Qualudes and enjoy Liza's debut last night from HSN. From what I can tell she designed the collection by calling Halston on her Ouija board while she mainlined liquid eyeliner. Watch as she "styles" the models and makes Rachel Zoe look like a fucking amateur....

original story via

The Campbell Summoned to The Hague

2010-06-30T12:59:00.000-07:00

Looks like everyone's favorite suspiciously bald Russian mistress/BlackBerry Tosser, Miss Omi Campbell will be making a quick trip to The Netherlands sometime this year.

Why Holland, you ask? Is Omi stocking up on precious Delft figurines, a few ounces of the Chronic or researching a role in a potential Girl 6 sequel in the Red Light District? Maybe she's pre-ordering Tulip bulbs for her garden, picking up some adorable wooden shoes for her married boyfriend's kids and stopping for tea with Viktor and/or Rolf?

Well, sadly, darling ol' Omi won't be doing any of that....seems like our girl can't be late for a very important date with The War Crimes Trial of former Liberian dictator/mass murderer Charles Taylor. ALLEGEDLY, Taylor gave Omi a ginormous uncut diamond while she was at her honorary grandfather Nelson Mandela's house in 1997. Problem is, Omi never mentioned to anyone that she took and never thought about the fact Taylor was financing a civil war by selling the diamonds.

So...let's turn lemons into lemonade and focus on what really counts: what does a girl wear to an International War Crimes Tribunal? Is Steven Klein going to shoot the whole thing for W?

image via

la-la-la-la Lola

2010-06-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

AND SO IT BEGINS....the countdown to the marketing onslaught of Lola and Madge's junior's Fashion Line for the Fiorucci of 2010 (Macy's) the blasphemously named MATERIAL GIRL a.k.a. the final nail in the coffin of Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone (Penn) ((Ritchie)) (((Luz)))'s credibility.

Kick starting this fun filled exploration of the Electra Complex, we have Exhibit L....a blog entry "by" the one and only LOLA herself....ummmmm....

As LOLA mentions in "her" blog post, she's only 13, so I'm not gonna blame this shabby attempt at viral marketing on her (it was Rocco's idea). HOWEVER, I do find it a bit creepy that the old person who like wrote this blog post like thinks a like REAL 13 year old girl actually like goes to the like trouble of bothering to type the word "like". FAIL Material Girl viral marketing department!

On the other hand, now that Lola Leon-Ciccone is a blogger, I wonder what this means for Tavi?

via The Awl

LaToying with our Emotions!

2010-06-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the week again! Head on over to Hint Mag and enjoy some Barr Service....

This week we makeover a celeb coping with mourning, bikinis and paparazzi (in that exact order).

Pussy Perpetrating Crime Spree!

2010-06-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

Who knew poor Halle Berry's career would come to this? Sure, I mean, a girl makes a flop or ten (Perfect Stranger wasn't so bad) and the phone stops ringing, but dressing up in a cat mask to rob a shoe store on Astor Place for $86 and The Body Shop in Forest Hills, Queens, the next day for $500? Halle, how could you!

But then again, maybe Halle's stealing to raise money for a B.A.P.S. sequel? Should we dare to dream?

If you see Halle, the ghost of Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfieffer, Julie Newmar or Lee Meriwether, please contact the N.Y.P.D.!

PS: A sincere apology to The Barr Code's fan (hi jorge!) for our absence over the past week....we were knee deep in a writing project that drained whatever funny we had left. But we're back and promise lots of bad puns, breaking news about ladies dressing as cats to steal from shitty shoe stores and HOrrendous Photoshop jobs....

Tuesday Scissor Session

2010-06-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes....we know this video is dullsville, but the Scissor Sisters Dolly-fied version of La Minogue's All the Lovers is just too much fun not to post. Turn the volume all the way up, grab a Bud and unbutton your Wranglers!

The Barr Code Salutes...Bridget Foley

2010-06-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

An already gorgeous day here in New York City just got so much better...Bridget Foley, Executive Editor of Women's Wear Daily, just put into words EVERYTHING The Barr Code and its friends feel about compulsive attention seeker LADY BURGER MONEY (© M.I.A.) in a must-read piece brilliantly titled:

Gaga, Get Over Yourself

You've got to read the whole thing, but Bridget (who's own daughter went to the same school as Lady Burger Money) breaks shit down hard and serves a big plate of realness when it comes to the Madonna wannabe's incessant desire to be the centre of attention....from that atrocious get-up she wore to her sister's high school graduation, to her trifling behavior at the Costume Institute Ball to her weird need to pretend she was an "outcast" in high school....all in all, Bridget punctures Burger Money's balloon of myths and lies with an elegance that's devastating.

We ♥ you Bridget Foley!

The Phrase that Pays (literally)

2010-06-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

He wanna fuck me right now, but I need my money first.

- Smokahontas Jones

The NY Times Strikes Again

2010-06-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

Back in March, I wrote about Alberto Marani for Hint Magazine....well, today The New York Times's T Magazine ran their own interview with Alberto (just like they did with Linn Lomo, but whatevz...). Go check out the story and then make your way over to Marani's online shop and treat yourself to some hot knits....

Monday Morning Glamour Injection

2010-06-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and Lord knows we could all use a little glamour....here's a super-fab Behind-the-Scenes video from the set of George Michael's epic music video Too Funky...the wigs! the corsets! Rossy de Palma! MUGLER before the ROIDS!!!!!

Our personal fave moment is when Linda says, "it's your stupid, stupid song!" in that immortally whiney voice of hers.....

*Shout out to Hint for originally posting this on their blog....

The Real Hobag from New Jersey

2010-06-14T07:03:00.000-07:00

Over at Hint Mag, this week we tackle our first fashion make-under! This week's letter is from a poor New Jersey woman who ACCIDENTALLY let a random dude she hooked up with film her getting busy and SOMEHOW Hustler got the tape and now requires a "conservative look" in which to handle her scandal....

The Flying (High) Nuns

2010-06-11T06:53:00.001-07:00

Uganda always seemed like a scary place to The Barr Code, what with Idi Amin, all those child soldiers and their less than friendly policies towards the Gays, but this story makes me see Uganda in an entirely different light....

ACCORDING to the BBC, two Ugandan Sisters by the names of Nanteza and Rita, got their asses in trouble with the po-po this week for operating a ONE ACRE "marijuana plantation" on the grounds of their convent. Obvi, the Brides of Christ had a totally legitimate excuse for their Holy Reefer, explaining to the nosy-ass police the weed was used "to treat farm animals, such as pigs".

Do pigs suffer from glaucoma? Anxiety? What sort of pigs need an acre of weed to eat?

Seriously, who can blame these girls for hitting the bong every now and then? Pedophile priests and a Pope running around in scarlet red Prada pumps can make a girl need little herbal refreshment, right? The Barr Code will remain on top of this story (not really) and, if the situation demands it, begin collecting donations for Nanteza and Rita's Legal Defense Fund....

* Note: Nun in above image is neither Nanteza or Rita.

i(don'tlike)Carly

2010-06-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

YES I KNOW.....I've been gone for a minute! I think I must have caught something at the Lil Kim concert...standing that close to the stage, Lord knows what I contracted! Nothing that a little Penicillin/Valtrex cocktail won't cure, right? RIGHT?

ANYWAY.....moving on, here's a video of California Republican Senate nominee Carly Fiorina acting like a mature, classy, sophisticated lady as she shit-talks her rival, Senator Barbara Boxer's HAIRSTYLE. I MEAN...really, Carly? California is literally sinking into the economic abyss and you're talking smack about Senator Boxer's hair? TACKY!

This BS literally takes women in politics back like 50 years...dissing each other's hairdos. And I mean who is she to talk? WTF is that suit she has on?

Me and Miss Jones

2010-06-04T05:36:00.000-07:00

Though she made The Barr Code wait over two hours before she took the stage, the one and only QB, the legendary LIL KIM brought ALL OF IT last night at the Fillmore.

Clad in a perpetually sinking black strapless bra (it's not a K.I.M. show unless there's some nudity), Miss Jones did the oldies (a flawless rendition of Big Momma Thang), the newbies (a slightly weird remix of RiRi's Hard), invited 3 little girls dressed in her signature Crush on You colorful wigs to perform with her, dissed Nikki Minaj ("you're fucking with my money, Bitch!"), cried several times, performed a lap dance with two men chained to one another and invited the ENTIRE front row on stage (inspiring several gays who made it on stage to strip/cry/scream), all while leading the crowd through a middle finger waving, Bic lighter flicking and totally profane sing-a-long (when I say "Queen" you say "Bitch"!)....to put it succinctly: KIM got 'em in the zone!

Photos by Jahleel Weaver

National Day of Mourning

2010-06-03T09:07:00.001-07:00

Rue McClanahan, the woman who gave her used lingerie to "needy sexy people" died today....in her honor The Barr Code will spend this afternoon performing at The Rusty Anchor....if Obama doesn't declare a National Day of Mourning for Rue like they did Reagan, he'll lose me forever!

Bryan, Put down the Phone!

2010-06-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

Apparently, celebrated blogger, official bottom and Anna Wintour groupie, Bryanboy live-Tweeted a botched threesome with two Swedes...

After cumming to his senses, Bryan took down the Tweets, but thank goodness, someone saved them and created the image accompanying this story....

I like Bryanboy, so I'm not going to throw shade, but you've got to wonder what posseses someone to stop focusing on the two horny Swedes in their room, so they can pick up their phone and start Tweeting?

Were this to happen to The Barr Code, we would put our phone on silent, toss the ladylike Lanvin out the window (imagine a trick wearing designer labels! Ewwwww......) and GET BUSY.

Original Story and Image via Jezebel

She's Turning Japanese

2010-06-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

One of The Barr Code's favorite people, Miss Jaime Kay now has her own Blog at Vogue Nippon....sashay over there and have a gander at all her fashionable comings and goings....

Supreme Glamour

2010-05-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

After a too long hiatus.....everyone's (ok only 1 person) favorite internet fashion advice column is back!

This week, Barr Service assists a legal eagle seeking to femme up for an upcoming job interview......

The House of Von Wella is on Twitter!

2010-05-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Now you can get all The House of Von Wella that you've ever dreamed of and more.....http://twitter.com/vonwella

Carla Bruni Enjoys Ass Play

2010-05-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

I know, I know....The Barr Code's totally neglected the whole Fergie selling her ex-husband for a laptop bag full of cash scandal, but we just felt so bad for broke-ass Fergie that we refused to pile on. Hand that poor woman a pack of generic cigarettes, some Charles Shaw Red and leave her alone!

However, we simply couldn't resist the opportunity to discuss our favorite aritocratic escort turned First Lady Carla Bruni's latest scandale....APPARENTLY, Carla went on JPG's Eurotrash talk show back in the 90's and discussed one of her favorite books....a guide to picking up dick in 7 languages! She tranlates handy phrases like, "Do you like my tits?" and "Put your finger in my butt."

Which one do you think her husband says more often?

I don't know why more people can't see Carla is a total groundbreaker...in the old days (before 2008) you had to be a classy type of gal to be a First Lady, but Carla has made it possible for former hookers, recovering hobags and multi-lingual nymphomaniacs to dress up like Jackie Kennedy and marry philandering dwarf politicians....there's hope for us all! Vive la Carla!

The video is chez Gawker for the time being, enjoy it before Carla gets it removed like she did on YouTube....

image via

BREAKING: Best News of 2010

2010-05-22T11:48:00.000-07:00

This might be the most exciting news ever reported on The Barr Code! According to Hiphopbeef.com our main inspiration, the woman who inspired us to be the sophisticated, pasty-wearing, occasionally prostitutin' individual that we are today, the one, the only, the Kimberly Jones, the LIL KIM has signed a record deal with Jay Z's record label Roc Nation! HALLELUJAH!

AND....even better...Jay is set to PRODUCE the album....!

No joke, I can still remember the day The Notorious K.I.M. came out on CD....my BFF at the time, a full-figured Armenian gal who lived in Hollywood and I promised not to listen to the album until we were together.....we threw a record release party in her Mom's living room where we sipped something (Gallo in a jug?) expensive and let Kim's immortal flow smother us like a giant imitation chinchilla comforter. I must say, all these years later, that still might be one of the best parties I ever attended....(I don't get out much.)

In honor of this momentous news, I shall spend the rest of the weekend hanging out in Brooklyn and selling my ass in exchange for Junior's cheesecake while I rap the Porno Theater intro to Hard Core (actually that's what I do every Saturday). Love you KIM!!!!!

image via

Hello Chintzy

2010-05-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

Apparently, good ol' Babs has decided to write a book about interior decor....I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this whole situation, I mean, Barbra believes the interior and exterior of a room should match, that the power of her mind changed burgundy Mums pink, has some sort of movie set town in her basement and sang a love song to her dead dog live on Oprah with a cream microphone that coordinated with her chunky Donna Karan sweater.....

Now that I think about it, maybe this is exactly the book I need! I'm totally into color coordinated microphones and matching my shawl to my couch....

God Bless America

2010-05-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

What made it classy is that a portion of the proceeds went to the Tea Party Movement.

The World is Her Oyster

2010-05-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

We just loved this item from Popbitch:

When Grace (Jones) was accosted by disgruntled stage hands about the lack of booze she responded in style - she gave them the Cristal champagne she had left.

Grace's rider centres on champagne, wine and oysters. As it was the middle of summer, the oysters she wanted weren't available.

The stage manager got one text message: "No oysters, no Grace".

Happy Birthday, Bitch!

2010-05-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

62 years ago in Spanish Town, Jamaica the one-and-only, the legendary, the incomparable MISS GRACE JONES was born.....

In honor of Grace, The Barr Code suggests you go to dinner tonight and between the appetizer and main course, do a dramatic reenactment of the following scene:

She is Andre J, honey....

2010-05-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

I Am - Warboy feat Andre J by ukwarboy

Miss Andre J, legendary Vogue Paris covergirl has branched out into music....and we like it! We can totally imagine the queens twirling to this come Summer 2010.....

Put This in Your Pipe and Smoke It

2010-05-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

For all you Weeds (and Party Girl) fans out there...Guillermo Diaz a.k.a. Guillermo García Gómez decided to strip down for something called Pinups.

I'm not entirely sure what possessed him to...ummm..reveal all... but all I can say is that my favorite part about the fully nude photo has to be the Grace Jones album in the background....(P.S.: why is Grace always involved in inappropriate displays of nudity?)

Who's that Girl?

2010-05-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

Sashay over to Tush Magazine and find out who this ebony goddess really is and you'll gag....

image via Tush Magazine....shout out to DJ Circee!

Your Tax Dollar$ at Work

2010-05-12T11:49:00.000-07:00

You know some shit is genius if it makes me actually enjoy Ke$ha.......

T.M.I.: Carla Bruni and Michelle Obama Edition

2010-05-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

According to ABC News, First Lady of France Carla Bruni decided she felt like shooting the shit and sharing a little girl talk with Michelle.

Carla took it there (and by 'there' I mean between her legs) ahem....

"During a visit to the US, France’s first lady Carla bragged to Michelle Obama how she and French president had made a head of state wait while they were having sex."

You know Michelle vom'ed a little in her mouth as soon as she heard that shit! BUT WAIT (let's see how many times I can type that today)It gets worse.....

"Bruni wanted to know if, like the Sarkozys, Michelle and the President had ever kept anyone waiting that way."

‘Michelle laughed nervously and said, 'no’.

What makes this whole scenario ecven tackier is that the 'Head of State' in question is rumored to be Queen Elizabeth II! Pardonnez-moi, Carla! You do not keep a bitch that old waiting! She could drop dead AT ANY MOMENT!

Now, I never imagined this blog would ever be the place to weight in on manners of etiquette (that's Discountess Luann's department) to a First Lady, but I feel like Bruni needs a talking to.....

Carla, honey, while we're happy you're banging that hyperactive midget who won't let you wear heels , the first time you meet someone, especially a classy dame like Michelle Obama keep your panties on! Talk about the weather or dresses or jet lag or something neutral. Save the chatte-talk for later; after you and Michelle have bonded over a few bottles of Bordeaux and taken your shoes off......bisou!

image via

Love This Bitch: Joanna Newsom Edition

2010-05-11T06:55:00.001-07:00

Don't you just love when a new sharp-tongued (and apparently drunk) famous lady pops on the scene with shit to talk and attitude to spread?

Say hello to harpist extraordinarie Joanna Newsom. Now, now....don't be put off by the Renn Faire vibe of her album cover, Joanna's a salope moderne like the rest of us!

A seemingly hungover and/or still buzzed Mademoiselle Newsom sat down with UK newspaper The Guardian and decided to tell it like it really is....preach, Joanna!

"Her [Lady Burger Money] approach to image is really interesting, but you listen to the music, and you just hear glow sticks. Smart outlets for musical journalism give her all this credit, like she's the new Madonna [...] Although I'm coming from a perspective of also thinking Madonna is not great at all. I'm like, fair enough: she is the new Madonna, but Madonna's a dumb-ass!"

I mean.....this bitch must have Secret Service protection! Who calls Madge a "dumb-ass" and lives to tell? (Except Sandra Bernhard?)

BUT WAIT....Joanna sobered up (or drank some more, it's hard to tell) after her interview and decided she had MORE to say...

"Her [Lady Burger Money] sexuality has no scuzziness, no frank raunchiness, in the way that, say, Peaches, or even Grace Jones, have-- she's Arty Spice! And, meanwhile, she seems to take herself so oddly seriously, the way she talks about her music in the third person, like she's Brecht or something. She just makes me miss Cyndi Lauper. [...] I shouldn't have called Madonna a dumb-ass. Her music and she have just gotten so boring to me, this last decade. I think maybe she doesn't hold her money very gracefully, the way some people can't hold their drink. But one thing she is surely not is dumb."

Arty Spice = my new Lady Burger Money! Love this bitch! Now, excuse me while I put on my rose crown and some velvet and settle in for a little morning harp sonata...

What's the T, Givenchy?

2010-05-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

If this ain't progress I don't know what is....according to The Huffington Post Givenchy designer Ricardo Tisci promoted Lea T., his personal assitant and fit model to a starring role in Givenchy's F/w 2010-11 campaign...while we love, love, love stories of girls coming from behind-the-scenes to center stage, what makes this story even better is that Lea was born Leo!

Fingers crossed, this means JuJuBee has a chance at the next Chanel campaign! Can't you just see her in a light pink skirt-suit and a pair of low-heeled two-tone pumps?!

The Lady vs The Tramp

2010-05-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

The Barr Code SWEARS we didn't make this video! Skip to 1:20 and see a totally loca Aguilera fan READ Lady Burger Money (© M.I.A.) about her tendency to be "inspired" by other artists (especially Xtina).....

Naomi, You in Danger Girl

2010-05-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

Well, if this shit isn't random, I don't know what is....according to The Daily Beast,Mia Farrow and Omi Campbell are in some kind of way intense situation involving a Blood Diamond, deposed Liberian dictator Charles Taylor, dinner at Nelson Mandela's house and an International War Crimes Tribunal! SAY WHAT?

APPARENTLY, (I'm not sure I have this straight, so bear with me....), Mia and Naomi were dining chez Mandela with Quincy (Jones) and Taylor one night.....it seems Taylor, who was funding his crazy-ass activities in Liberia with diamonds smuggled out of Sierra Leone offered Miss Campbell a very large diamond that was delivered by two associates of Taylor.

Well, Taylor is now facing a War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague, Mia is testifying against his ass and homegirl mentioned Naomi had accepted the diamond.

Says Mia, "You don't forget when a girlfriend tells you she was given a huge diamond in the middle of the night."

Now all kinds of hardcore dramz is poppin off! Naomi refuses to tetify because she's "scared for her family" (you know bitch ain't scared of shit). Meanwhile, some people think Naomi doesn't want to testify because she forgot to mention the fact she had a big-ass diamond stuffed in her cooch on her Customs Form and might have to pay all kinds of fines, taxes and duties....

Can you imagine this type of drama in your life? I'm currently dealing with shady-ass Con Ed and that's doing my head in....personally, I can't stand Omi, but my sympathies are with that bitch. I mean, Mia Farrow is basically a saint and if she's throwing shade at a bitch, you know Naomi's fucked...

Met Ballsy Untucked

2010-05-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

For those of you who weren't on Anna's guest list for Monday's Met Ball (yes I'm late posting the link, whatevz), Hint Mag and I did all the hard work for you....we combed through photos of all 725 guests and compiled a Top 11 Not-So-Well Dressed List....

Let's Talk About: Madonna's 90's Revival Face

2010-05-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a fun game for you to play as you sip your morning coffee!

Figure out which picture of Madonna is from 1991 and which are from her recent shoot for Interview Magazine...What's Old is New Again!

Seriously, has Madge been keeping her 1991 face in the freezer? Was there a sale at the old face store? If so, can I have my 1991 face back? (oh wait...I wasn't born! oh wait...yes I was)

Can someone PLEASE sumbit Dr. Frederic Brandt for a NOBEL? I mean, what the hell has Obama done compared to this man?!Madge's current face is a straight up MIRACLE and Lord knows keeping her happy is one way of maintaining world peace!

New Madge photos via Interview Magazine...old Madge photos via multiple sources. Thanks to Circee for the photo research....

Barr Service

2010-05-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the week where The Barr Code stops saying rude, thoughtless and hateful things and helps those desperate for some fashion assistance....

This week, meet "sevinnyne," a former child actress seeking a court appropriate look for an upcoming date with justice.

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game: Donatella Versace Edition

2010-04-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

Twenty days after The Barr Code's sizzling exposé on Anna Wintour's decision to auction off an internship at Vogue for 'charity', it appears that Donatella Versace has decided to auction off a week-long internship chez Versace's NY PR office to the tune of $20,000.

We know this is for "charity," but now that DV has decided that having interns pay her to work for free is kosher, how long before all the other big fashion houses and magazines jump on board?

We all know Versace has had....cough, cough....money troubles lately and charging kids for the honor of packing and unpacking garment bags, picking up lattes, ordering messengers and picking up desk-bound superiors' feminine hygenie products is just one more revenue stream to be exploited until the recession's over, right?

Original reporting via Racked

She's the Shit

2010-04-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and it's raining in NYC today, so The Barr Code felt like the world could use a little African glamour from the world's most extravagant Cameronian (besides Chantal Biya), Mademoiselle Bebe Zahara Benet.....

Really, Joni?

2010-04-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980. Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.- Joni Mitchell

(For those of you who've forgotten Roman History, Nero ruled the city when the Great Fire of 64 AD broke out in the area of the Circus Maximus and burned for six days, destroying about 2/3 of Rome in the process. Once the fire ended, Romans declared that its cause was an act of arson perpetuated by slaves of Nero. To counter their accusations, Nero accused the Christians of having started the fire, and punished this new religious group by staging the first persecution of the Christians in the 60s AD.)

Barr Service

2010-04-23T16:39:00.000-07:00

IT's that time of the week again.....BARR SERVICE is here!

This week I help a full-figured writer with a future in television put a media-savvy look together......obviously, there's a Birkin involved.

Just Like a White Winged Dove

2010-04-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

Take your best Ren Fair look out of moth balls, polish up your platforms and call your dealer because.....Night of A Thousand Stevies is Back!

Apparently, this year's theme is SISTERS OF THE MOON which makes The Barr Code want to serve some Nicks at Red Rocks meets Druid priestess meets collapsed septum glamour.....(basically a crunchy perm, a velevteen cloak and some Kleenex shoved up the nose.)

How About Some Cat Lady Erotica?

2010-04-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

Did you know that in the olden times before cable, telephones, radio and more 3D porn people used to entertain each other by reading books outloud?

Well, The Barr Code thinks it's high-time for reading outloud to stage a comeback and Letters from a Cat by Helen Jackson is JUST THE THING for you to read outloud at your next get together.

I mean, just read this little snippet:

"What is it, mamma?" I asked, feeling very much frightened, but never thinking of Pussy.

"You will never see your Pussy any more," she replied. "She is dead."

"Oh, where is she?" I cried. "What killed her? Won't she come to life again?"

"No," said my mother; "she is drowned."

Drowned pussy? Get me a hand mirror stat! Doesn't this sound like dialogue Eve Ensler chopped from The Vagina Monologues? Genius, no? We guarantee that if you nibble on a few shrooms, drink a vat or two of Bordeaux, get some friends together, put on some April March and read this shit with your peeps your party will be an instant success!

God Bless California

2010-04-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

For all of you out there celebrating 4/20 (hi Celesita!)...The Barr Code presents your new summer getaway destination....Los Angeles's very own "Marijuana Friendly" Hotel, the Normandie!

The hotel even has a fab motto: "Forget Amsterdam. Meet me at 6th and Normandie."

According to the LA Times The Normandie's owners plan to sell $420 "two-day packages" (what's included in the package isn't mentioned). Don't let me be the party pooper, but 6th and Normandie isn't really the most glamourous of neighborhoods, so I hope the Normandie has some cunty room service. Stoners with munchies DO NOT need to be wandering around unsupervised in that area.

Personally, I don't really see why anyone would pay $420 to smoke weed for two nights in Koreatown. I mean, why not spend a little more and stay at the Chateau? I'm sure poor bankrupt Lindsay (isn't she licensed as a dispensary?) would be more than happy to hook you up with an ounce and maybe even throw in a little Requiem for a Dream style floor-show if you smoke her out.

Mormon Missionary Position

2010-04-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday, so what better way to praise the LORD can you imagine than heading over to Hintmag and getting some High Fashion Life Coaching from Barr Service?

This week's installment is 100% God approved: Runaway Mormon polygamist Abigail is looking for a modest but fashion forward look for her new career answering phones in a West Chelsea Art Gallery.......

One of America's Top Icons: Mrs. Melania Trump

2010-04-17T06:44:00.000-07:00

Leave it to those h8ers at the New York Times to make The Barr Code's favorite Trump (sorry Ivana and Ivanka), Mrs. Melania Trump, look like some kind of vapid bimbo! RUDENESS!

At the end of the Times's piece on Melania's new jewelry collection (BTW, WTF w/ all these rich women and their jewelry collections?) for QVC, they concluded with this masterpiece of passive aggression:

Asked if a person ever gets used to living among such opulence, she replied, without irony or humor:

“Yeah, you get used to it. Yeah.”

Was that really necessary, NY Times? Why does Melania have to be "funny" or "ironic" about the fact she married a rich old man? Humor and irony are things a person develop when they're not a spectacular looking Slovenian swimsuit model who spends her days pushing around a gilded baby carriage in Blahniks!

Meanwhile.....have a sashay over to Melania's website (the soundtrack is Classical music, which means it's sophisticated). We discovered this gem in her bio and nearly choked on the glamour....

In addition, Melania has appeared in numerous television commercials, most recently for Aflac, in which she stars with one of America's top icons, the Aflac duck.

Image via

You Can Call Me Dusky

2010-04-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Leave it to one of the "new Vogues," like Vogue India (the first issue was October 2007) to do what none of the old white lady Vogues (except Vogue Italia, viva Franca!) seems to be able to do....

The April issue of the issue features five "dark skinned" models in bikinis and does what most American high fashion magazines seem incapable of doing: talking about race in a modern, sophisticated and poltically aware manner....

These women look fashionable, sexy and chic while managing to make a statement about India's fixation with skin bleaching....when was the last time Anna or Carine served a cover this beautiful/thought provoking?

According to Vogue India, "Every generation has its share of beauty myths. Perhaps it is time to bust this one. Time to say that as a magazine we love, and always have loved, the gorgeous colour of Indian skin...dark, dusky, bronze, golden - whatever you call it, we love it."

Whenever someone asks us what color we are, we shall reply Dusky.....props to Vogue India and all you dark, dusky, bronze, golden ladies out there!

Original reporting and image via Vogue UK

Born Ready

2010-04-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

Just when The Barr Code was beginning to think today was going to be a so-slow-there's-nothing-to-post sort of day....a new inspirational American hero came to our attention!

According to The Boston Globe's Blog, our favorite Congressman, rumpled pantsuit enthusiast Barney Frank was on a flight back from L.A. (where he appeared on The Tonight Show).

Two drunk Republicunts saw Barney was on the flight and, naturally, decided the cabin of a Virgin America flight to Boston was the appropriate place to voice their opposition to the Health Care Bill....long story short, the two drunk snatches started screeching about "Obamanations" and all that Teabagger B.S....

Claro, Barney, being the classy gentleman that he is (you have to be classy when you're named after a department store), ignored them, but the First Lady of Massachusetts' 4th District, Mr. Jim Ready, WASN'T HAVING IT and shut the two down. And we quote Rep. Frank:

"They wanted to talk to me, but I apologized and said I like to read and watch on planes," Frank told us today. "They began to talk louder and that's when Jimmy said, 'If you're trying to be bitchy, you're doing a good job."

I guess no one ever told those fools not to fuck with two queens flying coach!

image via

The LORD said to The Barr Code....

2010-04-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

"Take a rattlesnake and put it in a glass vase; anyone who looks at it will want one for themselves." Numbers 21:8

After a long absence, our favorite Aristocrat, Lord Carl Smith of Glencarin is back with some sensational home decor advice....so sayeth the LORD:

Homes that are Neutral don't have to be boring. "Spice up that beige with a Rattlesnake center piece."

Lord Carl continues, "add some zing to your next dinner party. Your guests won't be snoozing at your table. Rattlesnakes are fantastic for an authentic Southwest decor, think Georgia O'Keefe and add some white flowers into a handsome vase with your snake.

"Or, for an Edwardian feel, use a dusty vase; set it on some old books that emphasize the Age of Science. Unfortunately, Rattlesnakes are like flowers and don't last long but if you have children you can cut off the rattle once it's dead and let the child play."

Hallelujah!

The Bride Wore....Barr Service!

2010-04-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

Hintmag and The Barr Code are teaming up to help those in need.....of glamour!

Make your way over to the Shoptart section and check out the first installment of Barr Service: pro bono fashion counseling for those in need.

Our first letter came from a delightful Russian mail-order-bride from Vladivostok (see image) we're calling "Svetlana". Having snagged herself an American gentleman online, Svetlana is desperately seeking sartorial advice for an impending meet-and-greet with her man's WASP mama......check it out.

....and if you're a "needy sexy person" (© Blanche Deveraux) desperately seeking pro bono fashion counseling, Email your problem and picture to Barr Service. If we're moved, touched or turned on, we'll virtually style you in the best fashion has to offer.

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game: Anna Wintour Edition

2010-04-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

It REALLY IS CLEVER BITCH THURSDAY! Apparently, Patron Saint of Snatchitude, Miss Anna Wintour has devised a BRAZILIANT new money-making scheme over at cash strapped Condé Nast....she's AUCTIONING OFF INTERNSHIPS! Having someone pay you to be your slave? That is some high level S&M Dominatrix shit. Excuse me while I bow down and honor Anna's ingeniousness.

Yeah, yeah, this is for chairty, but you just KNOW once the higher ups at 4 Times Square hear about this scheme they're going to make paying for an internship MANDATORY.

Let's investigate the obvious benefits of charging kids to get coffee, pack/unpack/pack/unpack/pack and steam André's caftans....

1) Duh: It's a recession! Ad pages are down. Gotta make dem coinz BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

2) Expense accounts have been slashed; voilà cab fare for all those poor Editors forced to use....shudder.....public transport.

3) This GUARANTEES no poor/middle class people EVER make it inside 4 Times Square to sully the floors with their Steve Madden shoes or Upwardly Middle Class aspirations.

4) Pimps have been doing this shit for years. The only way to make a HO REALLY respect you is to make them pay you to get fucked. Honestly, why stop at making interns pay to intern? Pimp slap them a few times and call them "dumb whore" while you're doing run-throughs....(Ed note: they already do that.)

From where we sit this whole charging someone to be your slave thing is win/win....another stroke of genius from Anna! I wonder if she's in touch with M.I.A. and CZJ?

M.I.A.: Realness 101

2010-04-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

Is today a High Holy Day of Bitchiness? It must be....First, we analyzed Queen of Wales Catherine Zeta-Jones's shady-ass letter to her stepson's Judge (the previous post) and now we have the bane of the Sri Lankan government, one of our favorite ladies, designer pantsuit model M.I.A. serving up a big heaping plate of REALNESS in an interview with Britain's NME....PREACH, MAYA!

Her thoughts on Lady Baby Food:

Do we still need record labels?

Are they even interested in making money from music anymore? Lady Gaga plugs 15 things in her new video. Dude, she even plugs a burger! That’s probably how they’re making money right now - buying up the burger joint, putting the burger in a music video and making loads of burger money.

IT GETS BETTER....

...Lady Gaga - people say we’re similar, that we both mix all these things in the pot and spit them out differently, but she spits it out exactly the same! None of her music’s reflective of how weird she wants to be or thinks she is. She models herself on Grace Jones and Madonna, but the music sounds like 20-year-old Ibiza music, you know? She’s not progressive, but she’s a good mimic. She sounds more like me than I fucking do! That’s a talent and she’s got a great team behind her, but she’s the industry last’s stab at making itself important - saying, ‘You need our money behind you, the endorsements, the stadiums’ Respect to her, she’s keeping a hundred thousand people in work, but my belief is: Do It Yourself.

How important are image and visuals to your music?

Very. But it’s not like “Haus of Gaga” (laughs). Me blindfolded with naked men feeding me apples and shit.

I'd heard thorugh the grapevine Miss Maya was a tough lady....BUT DAMN....

....and just to put a cherry on Maya's shade cake:

I’m more concerned by how someone like Kesha can so blatantly copy Uffie. Everyone’s fine with it. Not a fucking lawsuit in sight.

The Barr Code didn't even have feelings on this Kesha person but now we totally hate her because Maya told us to...oh, and "Lady Burger Money" is Lady Baby Food's new name.

Happy Bitch Thursday, everyone! Honor M.I.A. and CZJ by telling someone you hate exactly how you feel about them!

Let's Talk About....Catherine Zeta-Jones

2010-04-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

To be honest with you, The Barr Code hasn't really been following the whole Cameron Douglas (son of Michael, grandson of Kirk) Meth Dealing arrest/incarceration situation because we're OVER tweakers in a big way and the last thing Michael Douglas did that was interesting was....his face lift.

HOWEVER, we've always had a soft spot in our hearts for The Queen of Wales (© Dawn French) CATHERINE ZETA-JONES. Not only does she have a hyphen in her last name, which automatically means she's royal, she managed to snatch Michael Douglas out from under his wife AND got him to sign some sort of loony pre-nup where she gets MAJOR coins if he cheats on her. NEVER MIND that he was cheating on WIFE #1 with her! Now that's how a real high-class tramp handles her business.

Over on Gawker, they have a whole report on the Douglas family trying to get Cameron leniancy or some shit....the whole thing made my eyes glaze over UNTIL I laid eyes on CZJ's HANDWRITTEN letter to the judge! Let's get into it....

1. Her name is ABOVE Michael's on their stationery. Does this mean she's on top in all circumstances? You just know the bitch ordered that shit without consulting Michael. Talk about telling the whole world who wears the strap-on in your relationship. Love her.

2. Her HANDWRITING! It's part schoolgirl...part sociopath! She can't seem to decide how big to make her letters, sometimes they're large...sometimes they're HUGE. This looks like a diary page taken from a 13 year old girl's diary, not a letter written by a 39* year old woman. Me thinks CZJ might not have completed Jr. High? Oh, and that downward slope gives off a total Aileen Wuornos sensation.

3. LOVE LOVE LOVE how she puts the word disease in "quotes". Is it just me or does that not scream shady? CZJ doesn't believe a word of this shit she's writing.

4. Her SIGNATURE!!!! Or should I say her AUTOGRAPH?! Who but the one true Queen of Wales signs a letter to a FEDERAL JUDGE like that? Even Joan Crawford would have been modest when dealing with the Law, but not our CZJ. She signs a letter to a judge as if it's just another headshot to a fan.

5. Her EGO!!!!! You know CZJ has a minon who handles correspondence that could have typed this missive, but she decided to write it herself! Her internal monologue went something like this, "It'll mean so much more to His Honor, if I, My Royal Highness Queen Catherine Zeta-Jones of Wales take the time to sit down and handwrite a letter with quill and ink. One look at the care and devotion My Majesty feels for Dear "Diseased" Cameron and His Honor shall release him post haste!"

* CZJ hasn't been 39 in several years.

I'm all for being Eco-Friendly, but....

2010-04-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

....this is taking it to the extreme! In between fanning ourselves and stepping in and out of a bathtub full of ice (it's god damned HOT in New York) The Barr Code discovered http://www.ethicalsextoys.co.uk/, "the first & only UK eco sextoy store."

At first, we thought this was recycling taken to the extreme. I mean, Ceramic dildos? Is that like fucking yourself with a Hummel figurine? (ed. note: don't try that at home)

In any case, after a quick twirl around their site, we discovered that they are not, in fact, recycling used vibrators and turning old ben-wa balls into beaded chokers. It's just a sex toy shop for the granola set and LORD KNOWS vegetarians and Greenpeace activists deserve orgasms too! So, if you're the kind of boy or girl that gets turned on by composting and fair trade coffee, then mosey on over to their site. There's a hand-blown artisanally manufactured Venetian Murano glass dildo with your name on it!

Stormy Daniels: The Sexiest Senator Since Hillary?

2010-04-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Celebrated erotic thespian and Director Stormy Daniels, best known for her performances in American Girls Part 2 and Heat, has long been mulling over whether or not to challenge prostitute loving Christian Senator David Vitter in Louisiana for his Senate seat in the upcoming election...

WELL, according to Politico (yes, The Barr Code is linking to Politico!) Daniels has decided to switch from being a Democrat to a Republican!

So sayeth Stormy, “...recent events regarding Republican National Committee fundraising at Voyeur, an L.A.-based lesbian bondage-themed nightclub, finally tipped the scales.....As someone who has worked extensively in both the club and film side of the adult entertainment industry, I know from experience that a mere $1,900 outlay at a club with the reputation of Voyeur is a clear indication of a frugal investment with a keen eye toward maximum return....I cannot help but recognize that over time my libertarian values regarding both money and sex and the legal use of one for the other [are] now best espoused by the Republican Party.”

I don't know about you, but Stormy's sentence structure and logic are vastly superior to that helicopter wolf hunting moose eating illegitimate grandbaby having woman from Alaska. I'm not entirely sure if I could bring myself to ever vote Republican, but Stormy's really speaking to me....

All that matters now is whether or not Stormy plans to wear a pantsuit? It can be a crotchless pantsuit, even one with tear-away pants like NBA players wear or it can just be a tailored jacket (Balmain, s'il vous plait) and no pants....but a pantsuit is non-negotiable if Stormy wants our support!

Why Wasn't I Invited?

2010-04-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

Last night in Tribeca a group of Transladies protested against the film I'm putting at the top of my Academy Awards 2011 Best Picture contender list Ticked off Trannies With Knives...(the photo at right is not from that protest, The Barr Code just happens to adore a lady in a pantsuit).

According to the New York Times's City Room Blog, the protesters feel that the word "Tranny" is offensive and the fact that the film centers on Transladies getting their revenge on their abusers by castrating them (essentially turning their oppressors into what they fear most...Transgender) is "misogynstic."

We're all for a protest AND a filmmaker's right to free speech, so we're not gonna take sides.....HOWEVER, we are a little peeved that we weren't invited to the protest! Based on the NY Times's pictures, Laverne from TRANSform Me was there and we love us some La LA La Laverne!

image via

Academy Awards 2011 Preview

2010-04-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

Meryl, Nicole Kidman, Dames Helen and Judy can cross Oscar Sunday 2011 OFF their calendars! Cancel the stylist, start consuming carbs and cancel that Holocaust themed romantic comedy Oscar bait you ladies were planning because ALL five spots for Best Actress just got SNATCHED!

Once you've taken a moment to soak up Tribeca Film Festival Official Selection (seriously) Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives you'll see what we mean.....any film with the line, "What if you turn out to be one of those, uh, rapists or something crazy like that?" is clearly giving Charlie Kauffman AND Quentin Tarantino a run for their dialogue! Diablo Cody, WHO?

MEANWHILE, are Transgenders the new gays? Between Drag Race, TRANSform Me and The Real Housewives it seems like T-Girls are pretty much everywhere these days, right? Have gays (Bienvenidos Ricky!) and lesbians gotten so ordinary that America has gotten thirsty for a little something extra? We all know Lady Baby Food (© Madonna) has made her whole career off mopping T-Girl style, so maybe the girls themselves are finally taking their rightful places in mainstream culture?

In any case, it's a hard call as to which of the girls is actually going to walk away with the Best Actress trophy, but our money's on Rachel Slurr, go to 1:39 seconds and you'll see what we're talking about....

Madonna: Not Without Her Daughter

2010-03-31T05:20:00.000-07:00

As the millions* of you that read this blog know, The Barr Code has spent several of the past weeks HIGHLY DISTRESSED about reports that Madonna had decided to flush what few shreds of credibility still cling desperatley to her gym-buffed bod to collaborate with style's arch-enemy (A.K.A. Macy's) on something called MATERIAL GIRL.

From the jump I knew Madge was being forced against her will into doing this and I pointed my finger at the likeliest suspect: LOURDES.

WELL, now comes official word from Madge that, yes, Lourdes is the one who's responsible for this! Blame Lourdes, people!

APPARENTLY, in between classes at the High School of the Performing Arts, Christina Crawford (the name she uses to go incognito) has been "designing" this guaranteed horror show....obvi, the only reasonable explanation for this is that Madge is being blackmailed. That little girl must have unretouched photos of Mama M after a "Spa Trip" to Brazil (a.k.a. her foot-to-face-lift) and threatened to leak them online unless she was given a career of her own.

Unchain Madonna from the radiator this instant, Lourdes! She might snap! Old ladies have brittle bones! Don't let her do this to you, Madge!

If you still give a damn about the woman who taught us that simulating masturbation in Quebec is a triumph of artistic expression, click on the link above and read the entire interview. There's several passive-aggressive gems, but the best has to be when A.P. asks if the experience of collabaorating on Material GIRL has "bonded them"....so sayeth Mama Rose:

"I see her more as a creative person, as an artist and less as my daughter as we are working, and then every once and a while I remembered she is my daughter."

* - We're fully aware we only have two readers. Hi Mom!

Image via

Telling It Like It Is.....

2010-03-31T05:06:00.000-07:00

Gawker has a hysterical post about the Emperor's New Clothes Phenomenon that is Balmain and dumpster chic called "The Crappiest Outfit $15,500 Can Buy"....

Quite frankly, I'm a little annoyed I didn't think of this feature for over here! Click the link above and learn what looking like a Spring 2010 high-fashion shipwrecked hobo really costs and what you could be doing with the money.....

Hello Kitty Is A Brut!

2010-03-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Mimi's Angel Rosé has some competition, kids!

According to The Barr Code's hometown "newspaper," the LA Times, Hello Kitty is coming out with her own line of wines!

(This leads me to wonder if Hello Kitty Rolling Papers and Medical Marijuana are soon to come....)

Obvi, I'm a little jealous this wasn't available when I was a tween...I mean, what goes better with a candy cigarette, a few bumps of Pixie Dust and an Oregano joint than some Hello Kitty Wine? I mean, FINALLY, something for Divorcée Middle School Teachers and the unpopular students who spend their lunches with them to wash down their Acutane and Xanax with, right?

(This post is dedicated to my Seventh Grade English Teacher, Mrs. Gomez! Miss you, bitch!)

Time to Commit Some Crime

2010-03-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

Proving that America IS moving in the right direction (fuck you Sarah Palin), here's a photo from Cazwell's Twitter of The Barr Code's homegirl, Miss Amanda LEPORE on her way to Jury Duty yesterday in Manhattan....

The whole concept of a fair trial by a jury of my peers had always seemed impossible to us until we saw this photo...to put it frankly, The Barr Code's peers are not a bunch of retired yentas or mornidly obese Civil Servants with nothing better to do than actually report for Jury Duty. WTF do those people understand about our lives and the so-called "crimes" we might need to commit? Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do!

BUT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! Amanda Lepore is 100% a peer capable of judging MOI. I accept her judgment on anything and everything, from the appropriate level of nudity on a Cross-Country flight to what sort of animal print to wear to a hatha yoga class.

Despite the rain, maybe it's time for me to go rob the Deli? Seeing Amanda saunter into the Jury Box with a big yellow legal notepad dressed in a Mugler daysuit and sexy librarian glasses would be worth a few months hard labor.

PS: A special shout out to Celestia Von Wella...we spent MANY an evening at 111 Centre Steet defending (and winning) our FINANCIAL GLAMOUR against a certain SHADY LANDLADY who shall remain nameless....

Miss Knowles Meets Miss Ross

2010-03-30T06:57:00.000-07:00

New York is wet, wet, wet in all the worst ways today....just as we were starting to reconsider getting out of bed at all, we discovered this video and decided to put our hands up and do a little coreography....after having listened to this four times in a row, we can't decide whether this video remix is better than the original song?! Is this available as a single? It's genius and reminds us of a world before Stefani's filthy Euro-knock-off-pop polluted the airwaves....

Erykah Badu: Mama Gets Gunned

2010-03-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

Since tomorrow is officially Erykah Badu Day here on The Barr Code, I figured I better post "Window Seat" the video to the first single off her new album New Amerykah Part Two (Return of the Ankh)....now, we love us some Baduuuuuuuuuuuu over here and are fully aware her videos are always a bit mind-fucky, but this one, WELL, it's a lot of mind fuckery....Erykah seems to be having one of those days where a lady just needs a walk and some fresh air and then BANG, Mama starts stripping and then....BANG...well, you'll see....

Does This Mean Michelle is a Size Queen?

2010-03-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

(The Barr Code is fully aware this is really Jay Leno lowbrow, but we couldn't resist)

O.J. Simpson: Top of the Bottoms

2010-03-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Who knew O.J. and Eddie Murphy had more in common than defunct movie careers? ALLEGEDLY, (per the National Enquirer) currently incarcerated football hero, Hertz spokseman and bloody glove model O.J. Simpson has developed a new hobby in jail.... (not meth) tranny chasing!

Apparently, "the girls" treat "The Juice" like "royalty"....I mean, duh! OF COURSE, queens know how to treat a man like a king! Believe it or not, The Barr Code happens to be close with an oft-incarcerated "girl" who reports that prison ladyboys get"married" to their men in jail and do wifely things like clean (their cell), wash (laundry/rectums) and cook (Top Ramen prepared in empty potato chip bags).

What I can't help but wonder about is whether O.J. is quarter(bare)backing or playing tight-end with his new gal pals? According to my reporter, quite a few prison husbands develop a taste for The Naked Gun during their Federally Sponsored vacations.....hey, come to think of it, once he's released maybe O.J. will be a judge on Drag Race? Work release program!

Colonel Qadaffi's Lady Killers

2010-03-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

You know how in fashion all of the sudden a trend bubbles to the surface? Paris Vogue says Spring 2010 is all about a Coup d'éclat militaire, not forgetting that every fashion victim's #1 label (a.k.a. Balmain) is awash in soldier-of-fortune references....so when Celestia Von Wella and I got to talking this past weekend about
Libyan dictator and international fashion plate Muammar Qaddafi (this conversation started because we were discussing ALT's caftans), it dawned on me that I have never written about Colonel Qaddafi's signature accessories....his elite corps of FORTY LIPSTICKED VIRGIN LADY BODYGUARDS!

Naturally, this inspired some google-research and I fell upon a great story by Lynn Harris and that of course inspired the attached photo collage and the video below.....

NEEDLESS TO SAY, The Barr Code is obssssssssssssssesed with these bitches and has already added them to our Power Lesbian Pantsuit Pantheon with Hillary and Suze. I mean...EXCUSE ME....a camo chador? Desert boots in the Louvre? Sassy red berets with coordinating lipstick? YES YES AND YES!

Say hello to Spring 2011, people!

Photo Illustration sourced from Images via, via, via and via

For Art's Sake.....

2010-03-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, in between ranting about Zac Posen's tackiness, cheesy Lanvin sneakers and whomever Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is knocking off this week/day/hour/minute/second, The Barr Code actually takes time to check out what's happening with les beaux arts....

Recently, we slathered ourselves in olive oil, packed a weekend bag full of pastels, stocked up on blackmarket BONIVA (shout out to Sally Field!) and motored to the Springs, where we happened to encounter the compelling works of Jose Luis Moreno, an artist who won "Best Drawing on Paper" (charcoal-hyper-realism) at the Palm Springs Art Museum/Artist Council Awards.....

Take a moment to check out his website....we're thinking about having a portrait commissioned of ourselves, but we just can't decide which side is our best one......

Posen la Pobrecita

2010-03-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

Nitrolicious has this beyond scintillating preview from People Stylewatch of The Barr Code's FAVORITE young designer, future QVC Superstar Mr. Zac Posen.

Not to get all granola and earthy on you (I am from California, so bare with me) but when I see "fashions" such as these it really makes me wonder how much pollution is generated from the factories churning out these pitiful garments....I mean, who needs a $16.99 tank top with a graphic of "Zac" written à la Butterfield 8 and Drag Race in lipstick? Do we really need ANOTHER imitation Norma Kamali swimsuit? A magenta faux-Galliano ruffle top flamenco dress? Don't even get me started on the cherry on the proverbial dirt pie that is that pussycat bow blouse layered under that God-awful print tank finished off with the POLYESTER pleated Faille skirt....WTF is that look? If you saw someone on the street like that above the age of seven, you'd wonder if they'd dressed themselves in the dark.

Fashion people really need to start asking themselves if it's worth further melting the Icecaps to produce poubelle ready items such as these....you just know these things were produced in some Third World factory in a country that doesn't know the meaning of Environmental Protection.

Marani Mania: Update

2010-03-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

Last week, my Hint Mag interview with Roitfeld fave Alberto Marani caused quite the sensation when we revealed that he was in talks with several major French fashion houses....

That little tidbit got picked up and within hours, the rumor was spreading faster than a certain formerly red-headed startlet's legs at Pablo Escobar's vacation house.....

New York Magazine, Fashionologie, Tramp (my favorite magazine name EVER), La Vie en Rose, The Fashion Spot, Celebrity Hunted and Style.com picked up the story and ran with it.....

While we still don't have any news to report on Signor Marani's future employment status (I particularly enjoyed the guessing game on the Fashion Spot's Forum...especially everyone who wants him to take over at Ungaro) I thought you all might enjoy an image from his Fall 2010 collection...see the entire shoot here.

We'll keep you updated on any developments regarding what house he takes over (we can pretty much guarantee it won't be Ungaro).

Don't Let These Sneakers Happen to You!

2010-03-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

SPRING HAS SPRUNG...but that doesn't mean your feet need to start blooming!

The Barr Code totally gets how excited you are that the snow has melted, your sable is officially back in storage and those fugly-ass snow boots have made their way to the back of your closet. HOWEVER, that is no reason to go nuts and start wearing ladies high-top sneakers that look like they got involved in a gay goblin bukkake scene. Not to mention, these sneakers give off an undeniable Kimmy Gibbler/Blossom Russo sensation that is only appropriate when worn by people who have no idea who either of those people are, i.e. people that are too young to afford these in the first place!

YES, YES, YES....I know the other Jewish Jesus, Alber Elbaz, signed-off on these and the Patron Saint of American Style, Michelle O loves her some Lanvin sneakers, but SORRY....that doesn't make them okay and it certainly doesn't make it alright that these M.I.A. rejects cost SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY U.S. DOLLARS....I mean, if you really love these, call your tweener niece and give her the $620 and let her go wild at the thrift store and dress just like you did TWENTY YEARS AGO in 1990, (the last time these sneakers were considered acceptable).

F**kin' For Tracks: The Germanotta Edition

2010-03-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

WHY OH WHY do I keep posting about Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta? She's not even my favorite Germanotta (click here to meet Natali, who does major things with her lip liner)!

MOVING ON....today's big scandale is that our dear darling Stefani allegedly fucked her producer, Rob Fusari, for tracks....and her name....and then neglected to give him any coinzzzzzzzz.

I must say that after reading the NY Daily News story I'm 100% on Team Rob....he had my whole hearted support when his lawyer said, "Fusari was expecting someone a little more grunge-rocker than the young Italian girl 'guidette' that arrived at his doorstep and was worried that he had made a mistake."

This proves what I've long suspected: once you scrub off the Benjamin Moore off Stefani's face and slide her out of her House of Field knock-offs what you have underneath is a piano playing JWOWW....

Claro que si, even Stefani's decision to fuck the producer who discovered her for tracks was....ahem...."referenced".

Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone (whose parents had the good sense to name a future legendary slut after the Virgin Mother, unlike Stefani who got her name from a mistyped text message) was fucking Jellybean Benitez (pictured above) for several years at the start of her career (he produced Holiday, The Gambler, etc).

Is there a Madonna for Dummies: A Guide to Becoming a Popstar that I don't know about? If so, where can I get it? Has Madge been writing it while Lourdes handles the Macy's collection? If so, will someone send it to me? I'm more than willing to pretend I'm a shemale and dedicate all my awards to God and the Gays.

Hedda Gaga

2010-03-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

The Barr Code was flipping through Paris Vogue (seulement pour pratiquer notre francais, mes chattes!) yesterday when we noticed a story on the legendary Hollywood Gossip Columnist Hedda Hopper featuring her 1947 Time cover....needless to say, this reminded us of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta and Mrs. Sean Carter's recent video for Teléfono....

To once again quote the Old Gray Lady's Guy Trebay, once more "her singular innovation on the sincerest form of flattery has been to barge right past imitation to outright larceny."

We're not as snooty as Guy (we totally are) so we'll look past this and salute Stefani for evolving past her Madge, Jacko, Grace, Klaus, Boy George, Debbie, Cyndi and David "referencing " (cough, cough....) into vintage Hollywood...where will she go from here? A video with decor à la Fritz Lang with eyebrows à la Crawford and trouser suits à la Dietrich? Perhaps a Harlow gown and a cigarette holder? Oh wait....that was Express Yourself....

Hi Nicola!

Illustration created with images via, via and via

Reading 101

2010-03-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

In honor of André Leon Talley's debut last night as the new judge on America's Next Top Model (which we didn't even know was still on, but whatever....) The Barr Code decided to travel back in time and give you all a lesson in historical ferocity.....today's lesson is all about Miss Crystal LaBeija (founder of the House of LaBeija, which gave us the IMMORTAL Pepper Jungle Gardenia LaBeija)...

You think André is being cunty when he calls some Barbizon reject a "mess"? PLEASE. Get out your Trapper Keeper, watch Crystal and LEARN how to read a bitch.

"I have a right to show my colors, darling! I am beautiful and I know I'm beautiful!"

Special thanks to DJ Circee for sending the clip
Image of ALT and AW via

Dear Barr Code: What should I Wear on St. Patrick's Day?

2010-03-17T05:21:00.001-07:00

NORMALLY, The Barr Code isn't all that interested in holidays.....BUT we think our mother might kill us if we didn't give a shout out to her Patron Saint (not that we're Catholic or anything) and the Patron Saint of everyone who likes to get shitfaced in chartreuse....the one and only SAINT PATRICK!

We racked our brains as to what a classy koo-tour type of girl wears to sip Guinness with Daphne Guinness and this little number came to mind....a little Fall 2006 Christian Dior Haute Koo-tour.

Doesn't this look positively belch Irish Pub?

The great thing about this ensemble, besides the fact that Spanx are 100% not neccessary (thus facilitating beer consumption) is the fact you can barf green beer up all over it and NO ONE WILL EVER BE THE WISER....not to mention, those Medieval Times head decoartions will make it très facile for your friends to find you should you wander off with that cute (he's totally sunburned) Irish bloke you met while you were looking for your purse near the Ladies Room...John Galliano really does think of everything.

Image via

Marani Mania

2010-03-17T05:06:00.000-07:00

While Style.com ruminates on the FUTURE OF FASHION with people you've already heard about like Hedi, Olivier Zahm, Cathy Horyn, etc, etc....Hint Mag and I have been hitting the streets finding the designers you might not have already heard about.

Over in Hint's Supernova section, I interviewed one of the industry's secret weapons, the man behind several of LA ROITFELD'S favorite collections, Signor Alberto Marani.

The interview is just like him: precise, to the point and vaguely dirty (we discuss whether or not he plans to design underwear for Italian football players)....sashay away to Hint and take a read....

Don't Cry For Me Manila

2010-03-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

David Byrne has quite possibly made my month, if not my year, proving that just because you were awesome in the 80's doesn't mean you need to sell out and start to suck (HELLO, MADONNA!).

I just listened to a sampling of tracks from his forthcoming DISCO MUSICAL (two words that need to be comibned more often) about fashion despot IMEDLA MOTHERFUCKING MARCOS...

Back in the 1980's, I can distinctly remember ALL the women in my family being obsessed with Imedla...they couldn't get over the jewels, the hairpieces, the shoulder poufs, the manicures and of course the legendary 3,000 pairs of shoes this woman from a profoundly poor country was serving on the regular....from that point to this day, I've always been slightly obsessed with the woman who coined the term HANDBAG DIPLOMACY.

APPARENTLY, David Byrne was just as fascinated as the female Barrs and turned all this into Here Lies Love, written with Fatboy Slim, which "presents Imelda Marcos meditating on events in her life, from her childhood spent in poverty and her rise to power to her ultimate departure from the palace."

The soundtrack, which is being released April 6, basically reads as though all my favorite singers got together and made the BEST ALBUM EVER...Roisin Murphy, Tori Amos, Sharon Jones, CYNDI LAUPER, the list goes on and on. Below is the title track as sung by Florence Welch. I'M GAGGING!

I blame Lourdes

2010-03-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

THIS IS GETTING TO BE TOO MUCH....first Madonna announces that she and Lourdes are doing a junior's collection for the exclusive fashion boutique known as Macy's....today, WWD writes that Madge and D&G are launching a line of eyewear....with an '"M" made from little stars". Making matters worse, DJ Circee tells me that Steve Madden will be making the shoes for her Material Girl collection.

If you had told me that in 2010 former Wal-Mart Superstars the Olsen Twins would be designing luxe Ready-To-Wear at Barney's while Madonna was slinging Forever 21 quality crap at Macy's I would have said you were LOCA.

I don't know how many more times Madge can disappoint me before I officially have to break up with her....

Image via

Cactus Flower

2010-03-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

One of The Barr Code's favorite people, Miss Tina Bark has been making quite the splash with her bijoux...I mean, not since Goldie Hawn has a blonde made such gorgeous things blossom in the desert.

Sashay over to her blog to see more of her work (I particularly like this butterfly ring...can't you imagine Mimi awakening from her champagne induced stupor, seeing this ring and making poor Nick order her a few dozen?)

ANYWHO....enough about Mimi and back to Tina! When you're done browsing Tina's designs, take a gander at her Arizona TV debut on youtube. Mama is giving you thinness!